AI6 'Bon Jovi Week is Finally Here!!!'

The Best Episode of AI EVER!


"Antonella is in da house!" It's kind of only fair, right? A little sump'n, sump'n for Mr. AMAI, seeing as how JON BON JOVI is here to mentor the Kids tonight, plus we'll be listening to awesome songs and hopefully none of the Kids will suck.

Is Ryan going to make a habit of being unshaven on Performance Night? I don't remember now if he pulled this stunt in the early rounds; I like to think I would remember, but years of smoking the Sanjaya may have toyed with my brain. He sighs a huge sigh of relief vicariously for all 6 of the Final 6, but especially for Lakisha and Chris and Phil and Blake and basically everyone NOT named Melinda or Jordin. Ah yes, the shock of a non-elimination. You'd think the TAR viewers among us would be used to it by now. To somehow "make up" for the bye, this week two shall be cruelly cut from the competition.

"Who has the chops?" wonders Ryan. He neatly executes a quarter turn, working the pause: "THIS {beat, beat, beat} is American Idol." Cue the funky biddee biddee noises.

AMAI: "Who has the chops. and who has the cutlets? Too bad Sanjaya's not here, that ham."
QB: "Heh. I am nuking my dinner as we speak. Sanjaya would rock tonight!!!"

After the credits, Ryan sends a huge thank-you out to everyone who helped amass the nearly $70 million raised last week. I admit I was pretty negative last week. I mean, more so than usual. After reading the Anonymous posters' comments last week, I got to thinking that there is something positive for me to take from the viewers' response. Whenever I broach the idea of getting rid of taxes altogether, people raise the issue of "what will happen to the less fortunate?" Somehow, everyone thinks nobody would ever want to help them. But the proof is here: 70 million votes rather than the usual 32 million. For whatever reasons, the viewers turned out in droves. There's no reason to fear that people would not respond to an honest call for help. The voters weren't getting a "tax break" either. Pooled together, they raised a lot of money. And that is my positive spin on last week. On with the recap.

Ryan feels he has permission to be extra cheeky, and introduces the judges as "Our three needy children." Randy looks high, Paula giggles in a very special way, and Simon laughs at his new middle name: Simon "I've been in the sun" Cowell.

This week voters will have two numbers again. And in fact there are nearly 70 million votes again. It turns out my pal QualityBobby need not have worried about whether there would be a huge disparity between this week and last week.

And now, for the Star of the Night, Jon Bon Jovi! First, the Movie Package, with all the data cited: 120 million albums, 40 billion attended god knows how many concerts. I admit letting the numbers wash over me as I drooled at the images from the last 22 years.

AMAI: "LOL - I've seen this footage so many times! I watched my videos so much they don't work anymore."
QB: "Ha! Me too, actually. I do like Bon Jovi a lot!"
AMAI: "I even bought a Jon Bon Jovi Picture Disc Interview and a Richie Sambora album."
QB: "Did you really? Here we go!"

Jon explains that the Kids have to bring sincerity in their delivery. "Make the songs your own." Isn't Jon great? He makes this threadbare speech sound new and fresh that I almost forget we've heard it from every mentor who's taken the trouble to show up and provide mentoring. Makes one wonder how Bono might have delivered the line, eh? Honestly, are the Mentors given scripts?

Along for the ride to help with musical accompaniment is David Bryan who has been with the band since day one.

On April 26 I cobbled together a guess-list of Bon Jovi songs matched up to whom I thought would sing them:

Phil: Blaze of Glory
Lakisha Bed of Roses
Melinda: I'll Be There For You
Chris: Wanted Dead or Alive
Jordin: Livin' on a Prayer
Blake: You Give Love a Bad Name

PHIL
Jon doesn't know how the crowd will respond to Phil doing Blaze of Glory. Jon reminds us he wrote it for the Young Guns movie many years ago. Woo, go me for calling this song for Phil. During rehearsal, Jon says Phil knocked it out of the ballpark: "He has the voice for this song."

Phil: "I was the kid who sang this song in the mirror with comb in hand. I've been doing this song for 15 years!"
QB: "This has disaster written all over it!"
AMAI: "No way. It's country. At least, it's as country as it gets with Bon Jovi."
QB: "Yeah, but it won't be nearly enough."

That lovely melancholic intro: kudos to the guitarist. Phil begins in the audience, making his way down some stairs to the stage. Outfit: black shirt, jeans and a brown over-shirt with what may well be a Gaelic design embroidered on the back.


AMAI: "The first verse sounds good."
QB: "Not bad. The sound is weird: a lot of echo... like an empty theater."
AMAI: "Nice work from the band!"
QB: "He's doing a nice job, actually. I am pleasantly surprised."
AMAI: "Chorus is good. 2nd verse, too."
giselle: "He sounds good. I think."
MG: "I thought he would do better than this."
giselle: "Too bad he's so creepy looking. If I listen and don't look, it's good."
QB: "One of his best performances, I would say."
AMAI: "Way to go Phil, well done. I'm proud!"

Randy is happy Phil did a good job, not least because he recorded that song with Jon back in the day.
MG: "Oh shut UP Randy! 'I recorded that song, I'm such the dawg.'"
Simon: "That was the problem with the song."
AMAI: "Ooo, snarky Simon is back."
Randy ignores Simon: "Other than Country Week, this was your best ever. That was the bomb. Love it."
Paula: "This is a year out of your life you will never forget. Best opening all season long."
Simon: "I don't know about that. {Pause} I thought it was okay. I didn't hear…"

The audience interrupts him to boo loudly.
Simon: "Gimme 5 seconds to talk, then you can boo. I didn't hear any authenticity. In the middle I thought you were like a bad actor. If this were an audition for a rock singer, you wouldn't get the role. I don't think you've done enough to last to next week."
Mr. AMAI: "That was what I was thinking. I don't think Randy or Paula listen as much as Simon does."
QB: "Tough critique out of Simon. I half agree with him. I think Phil did great but he is still going home."
AMAI: "I agree. He won't last to next week, but at least he will go out on a relatively high note."


JORDIN
giselle: "Ohhhh, it's Gina in the audience!"
AMAI: "I saw Antonella earlier."
giselle: "I'll rewind later and look for her."
AMAI: "It's right at the beginning. Almost didn't recognize her with clothes on."
MG: "The dirty whore!"
giselle: "On second thought, never mind."

Jordin chose Livin' On A Prayer. Yay, me. I'm currently two for two. She confessionals, "Nervous is an understatement. My mom will flip out." Her mom is a big fan of the band and Jordin grew up with this music. We watch some rehearsal and it's not going particularly well. Jon concedes this is a very difficult one to sing, and guides her where to change the notes higher. Jordin laments how hard it is.

QB: "That's a tough song, lots of range. She'll have to work for this one."
AMAI: "Jordin can handle it."
QB: "If anyone can, it'll be her."

Jon, not to be left out of the party, exults over her 17-year-old-ness.

For the performance, Jordin's in black, with some rocker chains and necklaces hanging down. She has two guitarists with her onstage, both of whom are shorter than her.


giselle: "She has red streaks in her hair. Shout-out to Gina!"
MG: "I like the hair!"
AMAI: "She looks great. Like a rocker."
MG: "… but very bad song choice. I don't like this. Sorry."
Mr. AMAI: "Hey this isn't a bad night."
AMAI: "You like how she's doing this?"
Mr. AMAI: "Not really. She's making all kinds of mistakes."
AMAI: "Jordin is always a slow starter."
QB: "She might want to shift out of park soon."
MG: "She sounds like a wedding singer."
QB: "I am not loving this at all."
giselle: "Me either. And she is usually my favorite."
AMAI: "Mine too. I'm so disappointed. Why did she choose this song?"
QB: "Hmmm. Really bad start but she is better in the chorus. Really strong finish."
AMAI: "She got there in the end, as DawgDude might say."

Randy: "Interesting one for me. Interesting for you too?"
Jordin: "Yeah."
Randy: "Those verses were a little rough. I could tell from the first low note that you knew."
Paula: "I give credit that you went for it knowing it was a little bit out of your range. Hot guy's band."
Simon: "Cue the boos in advance, because the look is like something out of the Addams family."
Randy: "Oh, I like the look. Look is hot…"
QB: "I agree."
Simon: "As for the singing, it was just out of control, verging on shrieking. Absolutely completely lost control. Massive disadvantage given guy's rock song to sing."

MG: "Lol at Simon cueing the boos but he is right."
giselle: "He usually is."
AMAI: "But she is still adorable and I still love her, and I would hate for her to be eliminated over this."
MG: "Yesssssssss."
giselle: "Still my fav, but too bad, I hated it."
AMAI: "I could handle bottom 3 as long as she's safe. Sometimes a bad review or performance will galvanize the fans."
QB: 'And she is cute enough to get that vote, too. I would like Jordin to win."
MG: "I think she will win."
AMAI: "Me too. I didn't feel like she was shrieking so much as just not sounding like herself."

Ryan (to Simon): "Thank you, Herman Munster."
giselle: "Ryan looks so small."
Mr. AMAI: "I would have called Simon Eddie Munster."
QB: "I am not fond of any of the rest of them. She has the talent. The hair was a little Munsterish, tho."
AMAI: "LOL."

Jordin tells Ryan she was really excited about this week, but at the same time felt worried. "I was all, 'I don't know how this is gonna go.' Meeting him was amazing. I'm glad I was here for it."


LAKISHA
She's onstage beside Ryan, wearing mostly black but the top has a red swatch right in the middle. I'm worried I will be focused on this red material and unable to concentrate on the singing.


Ryan invites her to sit down but she declines. "I want to let the camera get my slim side." Oooh, funny!
Mr. AMAI: "She can't sit down."

A Phantom Viewer wants to know about Kiki's training. "None," she says. "Just church." She promises to give us a lil sumpn, sumpn, at the same time admitting she's never listened to Bon Jovi music. "I saw him on Oprah," she says as if that counts.

QB: "NEVER LISTENED TO BON JOVI???? I hate her even more now."
AMAI: "Aww. I'll forgive it if she does a good job."
QB: "Hmmmm."
AMAI: "If you spend time singing in church, and your parents don't bring the music into the home, chances are good you won't be as familiar with it as other people."

Her song is This Aint A Love Song, which I didn't pick for her. Jon explains, "This is a soul singer's song. I'm glad you found this track. You're pleading and that man is going out that door." She sings some and Jon declares he hopes she brought enough clean clothes for another week. He says to us, "I'm not a bettin' man, but I would bet money that she is not going home this week singing this song." OoooOOooo. Yay! I do like Lakisha but it's been a while since she really brought it, you know?

She has my attention from the outset. Some people notice errors, but not me. The first chorus stirs things up in me, and when she hits the rousing 2nd chorus, I have tears in my eyes. I love it and I love her again. I don't often say it, but Lakisha is definitely "back."

AMAI: "Wow! She is doing an awesome job. This performance builds so nicely."
QB: "She is singing it perfectly, hasn't missed a note. Technically, he could not have sung it better. She just doesn't get me going."
giselle: "Me either, but I don't like her, so... I feel I could be biased. The end isn't bad, the beginning not so much. She can sing."
MG: "I love her. I guess she is doing the best she can with something so out of her comfort zone, but I don't like it."

Randy: "You started pitchy, but you sold me by the middle. You blew that out the box. You proved you can sing tonight. Lakisha's back!"
giselle: "I agree with Randy."
AMAI: "Well, we knew she could sing. I don't know what the problem has been all these weeks."
Paula: "The lower tone of your voice is money in your pocket."
Simon: "Lakisha, I actually could kiss you after that."

Carpe diem! Escorted by Ryan, Lakisha makes her way to the judges' table. Simon plants a kiss right on the lips! The whole room gasps!

Simon: "You were so good."
Lakisha whispers thank you, and strokes his cheek lovingly, as if she's saying, "Thanks for having faith in me." Oh man, I'm getting teary-eyed just recalling the moment. Once she's back up onstage, Simon resumes his commentary.

Simon: "I love that you rose to the challenge. You absolutely nailed it and I'm so glad you are back. Nice lips." Ryan's all, "Yeah, aren't they?" If you recall he sampled their goodness last week.

QB: "She is the anti-Jordin. She sings the low songs so well, and Jordin needs the higher notes. That might be the highest praise I've ever heard from Simon."
MG: "1. Lakisha 2. Phil 3. Jordin. Sorry."
giselle: "So far I agree."
AMAI: "MG, no need to apologize. That is exactly the order I have at this point. Lakisha does not deserve to leave. She really connected with that song and sold it."


BLAKE
The Bleat Box is taking on You Give Love A Bad Name, giving me 3 for 4 on my pre-show predictions.

AMAI: "Ryan said Blake is gonna stick his neck out."
giselle: "Like a turtle?"
QB: "Guillotine?"
AMAI: "LOL. Oh my god, what happened to him? Blake is funkified: he dyed his hair black!"
QB: "Goof ball. This should be interesting!"
AMAI: "Oh yeah. Already I'm prepared to give him a chance."

Jon tells Blake: "Adventurous rendition." Meanwhile, Jon comes across as skeptical when addressing us in a confessional, "[Blake] has to sell his interpretation of a song a lot of people know and don't want messed with." Some readers said they detected a twinkle in Jon's eye when he said this, which they interpreted to mean he liked what Blake did with the song; others, including me, thought he was just being nice and did not like what Blake did.

QB: "He is going to change this??"
AMAI: "Hee. I called this song being sung too."
QB: "Oh my god, this has bad potential."
MG: "I will hate it!!!!!"
AMAI: "No prejudging tonight. We are House of Sunshine & Lollipops."
giselle: "Sunshine, lollipops and Bon Jovi."
MG: "I'll try to have mercy. Although it's probably too late. I prejudged him weeks ago."
giselle: "It will most likely sound the same as every other week."
AMAI: "There are plenty of vomit bags on hand for the suckfest that is coming. Er, I mean, just in case they're needed."
MG: "Ok."


The performance begins. First of all, Blake's dyed hair works to disguise him and fool me into not engaging my automatic "Blake-hate." Before any singing, Blake imitates putting on a record, complete with weird techno-robotic body movements and all sorts of scritchy scratch sounds.

giselle: "I already hate it."
MG: "The intro is bad. OMG he's such a tard."
giselle: "What is with the hair????? He belongs in the 80s."
AMAI: "It fooled me into giving him a chance."
MG: "He dyed it my hair color! My hair does not belong in the 80s! I hate him. Here I am, ready to vomit!"
AMAI: "No projectile vomiting! Have a Blake-sickness bag."
MG: "Thanks."
QB: "His singing is good."
AMAI: "What is it called when you make those noises like you're a record player?"
QB: "Scratching."
AMAI: "Itchy & Scratchy, new nic for Bleat Pox."
QB: " Hahahahaha. Don't be mean. Ren and Stimpy. You know what? I kinda like it..."
AMAI: "It seems well done for what it is, but what it is, is essentially annoying."

I mean, basically the noise-making is trying to make "art" out of what happens to a vinyl album after it's been played so often that it skips, gets stuck and emits other frustrating sounds. I'm just kind of open-mouthed. He sings the chorus more or less normally. Also, being so intent on the moves and funny sounds, I'm less conscious of him making blow-job faces. I'm certainly grateful for that."

QB: "Different, but not bad. If you are going to change it, you have to totally change it."
giselle: "I feel like I am back in an under 21 club listening to this."
AMAI: "Oooo. I'd like to see him do Tainted Love."
MG: "This is fucking awful."
AMAI: "Beepeeepeee. Maybe he can do a new recording of the intro noises for AI."
MG: "If I ever meet him, I swear I will punch him in the face."
giselle: "Lol. I'll help you MG. I'll hold him down, you kick him."

Randy: "Most original version of any song on the show ever! You took a huge risk and guess what, you won. That was hot." Wouldn't be Randy if he didn't find Blake "hot."
AMAI: "Randy creams himself, natch."
MG: "Randy's lost his mind."
giselle: "Agreed."
AMAI: "Paula sounds like Blake with that stuttering."
giselle: "Jon wasn't digging it. He was hating it."

Paula calls it the biggest leap of faith ever. She tries to convince everyone, including Simon's mom, that Simon's mom liked it. We aren't shown Simon's mom, so the poor woman must be desperately shaking her head "no." If she was bouncing up and down in her seat, she was probably just trying to find the boiled candy she dropped.

Simon thanks Paula in a tone that sounds like it's really saying "STFU already." Then he makes the declaration that caused everyone to either name the half in which they were in, or to re-write the groupings in order to name the one in which they truly fell. "Half the audience absolutely loved it, and half hated it. You're a brave young man. This is what is gonna keep you in the competition next week."

AMAI: "Rats. I was hoping this would be Blake's ticket home. It was entertaining, but in a stupid performing animal kind of way."



QB: "Totally agree. There will be no middle ground. You will love it or hate it. I loved it, you all hated it, lol."
AMAI: "I … um. I don't know what I am. I'm beyond hate. I'm in a third group."
MG: "He is not brave, he's arrogant."
AMAI: "He's deluded. Simon is being kind."
giselle: "Simon just likes his hair."
AMAI: "There are people at Sucks who put Blake as No. 1."
MG: "Those tend to go together. They're insane."
AMAI: "It's a novelty. It would get old really fast. I mean, REAL fast."
QB: "Oh, yes. Very original as a one time thing. After one song, shoot me."
AMAI: "Shot thru the heart, and he's to blame. He, he, he. Gives, gives, gives, Love love love. … Oy. I really could live without Blake in the competition."
QB: "Really? You wouldn't mind Blake going home? *shock*"
AMAI: "Chris more, tho. Blake finally did his "thing" and proved he can imitate a scratchy record."
QB: "I think Blake saved himself. He will get enough people to like it and vote."
MG: "1. Lakisha 2. Phil 3. Jordin 666. Blake."
AMAI: "Hahaha."
giselle: "I changed my mind. Phil first, then Lakisha, Jordin, Blake. Phil is creepy to look at and I don't think the votes will go that way."
AMAI: "Blake will be safe, unfortunately."


CHRIS
Ryan says he's here with Justin Timberlake. HAHAHA. HoHoHo. Chris gets to answer a Phantom Viewer Question: "What do you tell yourself before going on stage?"

AMAI: "Don't screw up?"
Chris: "Just have fun. (Thinks some more) Yeah, just have fun. Have fun. Just have fun."
QB: "Zzzzzzzzzzzz. Why let Timberfake talk?"
AMAI: "How many 'fries with that' and 'deep fat fryer' jokes can one recapper and her husband make?"
QB: "Hopefully one more week's worth."
Mr. AMAI: "…"

Jon says Chris has the "daunting" task of doing one of the band's best-loved songs, Wanted Dead or Alive. Were the songs handed out? I thought each Kid got to pick his/her own song? So he chose that daunting task. But oh boy! That makes 4 correct picks by me so far. Well done, me.

Following a terrible rehearsal Jon astutely notes that Chris "may have been a little nervous because he didn't know all the words." HA! Kindness. Did Chris know any of the words? Chris asks for tips for the performance.

Mr. AMAI: "Learn the words, freak."
Jon: "Find the blue note."
QB: "Ugh. He didn't know the words? He is in deep shit. *plays Taps* I love this song."

Jon's expression is sour. He must be thinking, "Why couldn't Sanjaya have been here instead?"


There are people who find this monkey attractive. The noises are worse than Blake's; there isn't even a pretence at not being nasally.

AMAI: "Mucinex to the rescue!"
QB: "Hahahaha. OMG! Horrible note. Oy."
MG: "OMG. Massacre already."
AMAI: "Maybe he needs Breathe Rite strips."
QB: "Wow. This is really bad."
MG: "I officially hate him."
giselle: "I can't stand to watch him. If you don't watch it sounds ok, kinda."
AMAI: "Watching him one imagines how wet his hands are."
MG: "It's horrible watching or not."
giselle: "You're right, it is pretty bad both ways."
AMAI: "How the hell did he make Top 6?"
Mr. AMAI: "Why does Chris always looks over his right shoulder like someone's after him?"
QB: "Dead Man Walking."
AMAI: "He's wanted by a long line of people who want to thump him for butchering their favorite songs. He even looks like a serial killer."

Randy: "You did your thing. That was nice, I liked that."
AMAI: "No surprise here. Randy has drooled over this guy all season."
Paula: "You don't have anything to worry about." (haha) She adds something about "taking the rap" and exclaims over what a great night it is. Of all the contestants to say it to…
Simon: "You did as much as you could with that song, whether you stay another week…"

AMAI: "I hope Randy's commentary disarms Chris' few fans and lulls them into thinking they're safe."
QB: "This is the last week you'll have to worry about him anyways. He is done. Not even a little pink in the middle. Well done!"
Mr AMAI: "Did you want fries with that?'"


MELINDA
Melinda is the closer again, and some people bitched about it, but she is the best of the group and she's even been improving her onstage presence.

giselle: "I'm sorry, I don't like her either. I don't think I like anyone but Jordin who I wish had done better."
AMAI: "Melinda has come a long way in this competition. She had the ability but not the showmanship."
giselle: "She has come out of her shell without sticking her neck out."
QB: "She can't stick her neck out."
MG:: "Physical impossibility."
giselle: "Poor thing, she has no neck. Although I'm sure it's there somewhere under that huge head."

Melinda tells Jon she doesn't know from "rocking out" and says he can teach her: "You got the soul, you got the pipe. You just gotta own it." She can do that. She's chosen Have a Nice Day. Jon tells us what she brings to the song is soul. He advises her, "Take it to church" and she's all, "Okay, I like church." At the end of the package she's adorable doing the devil hand gesture. "Is it this way? That way?" She turns her hand around, a playful smile on her face.

QB: "Melinda is such a dork."
AMAI: " She's letting her personality shine. I like her so much more these days."

From the get-go, she's got an attitude! She stomps around onstage. I think she does such an amazing job with this song precisely because people have told her how she should live her life, and she's not taking it anymore.

AMAI: "Melinda shows her rock face."
QB: "Melinda has a rock face? I thought she had a stone face."
MG: "I like Kiki and Jordin. That's it. I make dinner during Melinda's performances."
AMAI: "I like all 3 women. But each week another one of them is outstanding."
giselle: "I cannot stand her. Sorry, she sings well, but I don't like her. I have fast forwarded through most of her performances. I will watch just this once."


The sass & attitude on the title line are awesome. It's a thoroughly enjoyable performance. Together with Lakisha she gets top marks from me for the night.

giselle: "She looks good. Better, anyways. She is channeling Tina Turner. Showing some 'tude. I still wouldn't buy her record though."
AMAI: "I doubt I would either but this is a great performance."
QB: "Meh. I don't like the way she is singing it."
AMAI: "No way - this is awesome!"
QB: "She bores me. She always sings well, she just doesn't excite me."
AMAI: "She hasn't always excited me but this is solid."
QB: "She is always solid, never bad, just always the same."
giselle: "She is very talented, but would she sell records?"
MG: "No, she would not. She has showmanship. Her best hope is Broadway after this. But she is the best tonight."
QB: "I need more than technical to buy into it."
AMAI: "I think she will sell records, but as with anyone, it will depend on what kind of material she gets hold of. But she is often dull. This was not dull."

Randy: "A little Tina Turner in there. That was hot."
AMAI: "If Randy didn't use that term 'hot' for everyone, it would mean a lot more."
Paula: "How'd it feel to be a rock star?"
Simon: "I totally endorse what Randy said. Young Tina Turner. Vocally in a different league to everyone else."

At first, I was irked by that comment because Lakisha and Jordin have both produced great work. However, vocally Melinda truly is way ahead this season. Has she ever hit a bad note? Some performances have been dull and uninspiring, but vocally she nailed them. I do hope she finds stellar material for her first album, stuff she can sink her teeth into.

My Ranking
1. Lakisha. AWESOME.
1. It's a tie. After a second viewing, I decide Melinda was also AWESOME and deserves equal ranking. She had sass and put an edge to the lyric "Have a nice day" that conveyed just a hint of cynicism. Really a whole new side of Melinda. It's quite amazing how she assumes the character of the song; it's like she climbs inside the song and wears it like a second skin.

3. Phil: There was really no other song that fit so well with him. His vocal was good, but let's face it: he's still an odd-looking chap. Go have a nice career in country music, Phil.

4. Jordin: Her worst performance so far. Mostly it was due to poor song choice, because she certainly looked the part of a rocker, and had good stage presence. On second viewing her vocal sounded even weirder and less like "her." This song was too old for her, meaning she doesn't have enough life experience to sing it with confidence and invest it with genuine understanding. Perhaps Bad Medicine would have been a better fit. Props for giving it a shot and recognizing she had problems.

5. Blake. The performance was a novelty and definitely his most entertaining yet. But the shtick feels at least 10 years old making him a Johnny-Come-Lately, hopping on the bandwagon to imitate what others have done before. Big deal, he's doing it on AI. It's been around long enough they could have a BeatBox theme week. I toyed momentarily with putting him 4th on my list because I was entertained. The fact is, I was laughing at him, not with him.

6. Chris/Timbafake/Fries With That - Macs are up!

Who Will Go?
Using the Sucks method of Brain/Heart/Gut, my predictions on Tuesday evening were:

Brain (i.e., who I think will go): Chris & Phil
Heart (i.e., who I wish would go): Chris & Blake
Gut (i.e., who I fear will go): Any of the women

MG: "So who goes?"
All: "Phil and Chris."
MG: "At least I hope Chris. I'd rather it be Blake than Phil for some reason. I hate Blake."
QB: "Nope, Blake will be ok. I think the 3 guys will be the bottom 3 though."
AMAI: "As long as two guys leave, I'll be okay with it. Phil chose a good exit song. Blake's problem is his tree-trunk thighs. They are so off-putting."
MG: "His face is no gem either."
AMAI: "His face is a butt. Some people like butts."
QB: "Lol. Jordin could be bottom 3."
AMAI: "Jordin better not be going anyplace."
QB: "She will be ok. I can't see her going home."
MG: "Lakisha?"
AMAI: "Lakisha, no way. She better not be out. She was great tonight."
QB: "She was really good; she was not great last week. It's a two week total."
AMAI: "True. Screw last week. I'd rather have all-women F3. Melinda rocked."
giselle: "Yes she did."

Now is the time to hide the gun or Mr. AMAI might do someone an injury. Ryan introduces George & Laura Bush. They chat awhile about last week! Then, this:

George: "Should I sing something?"
Laura: "No, darling, they've already seen you dance."

MG: "OMG. Bush!"
giselle: "Ughhhhhhhhhhhh, my eyes."
MG: "We already have to look at Blake."
giselle: "This is worse. What does he have to do with this??????????"
AMAI: "Nothing."
giselle: "Why then??????"
MG: "He's a media whore, latching on."
giselle: "That ruined my night."
AMAI: "Lol. He just wanted to thank everyone for raising the money so he didn't have to."

RESULTS
This recap is already really long, so I'll make this quick. Phil and Chris were sent home. Bon Jovi performed but it was underwhelming. There was a lot of filler and most of it was so dull it's not even worth reporting. But I think most people are happy with a final four of Melinda, Jordin, Lakisha and Blake. Next week is Boogie Week, with guest mentor Barry Gibb. It might also be time for each Kid to perform two songs in one night. I hope so, because otherwise the ratio of filler will be higher than we might be able to bear.

Thanks for reading.

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