Episode 4: "Awesome Season. Isn't It?"

This week, many threads currently on the front page of Sucks involve past seasons, former Survivors or ourselves: Ghostnics Love Thread, Former Survivors Chain Letter and Biggest Betrayals in Survivor History.

Threads dealing with this season? Well, Who Is Adumb? isn't the only option. There is Mega64's "JP sucked at challenges and pissed everyone off." Here are some excerpts:

Mega64: "So how exactly was voting him off a bad thing? Now they'll get along more and won't have McFairyFuckface holding them back with his subpar swimming skills and lazy diva attitude. I'm just saying that getting rid of him isn't going to ruin Raro. He wasn't like fucking Rupert or Ozzy or anything. He's probably the weakest guy in the tribe anyway and probably weakest overall besides Cao Boi.

This is more of a "Why the fuck is everyone claiming voting off JP was a bad move?" thread than a "JP is an annoying prick and I want to smack him over the head with a 2x4" thread.

James Barber: "It's not so much he was a powerhouse for the tribe as there were some very weak links on the tribe (many of the women) who aren't good at challenges. JP gave more of an edge, and now they're minus him, they still have their weaker players, the other tribe still has 3 strong guys, and stronger women than Raro has."

Mega64: "They have Brad, Adam, and Nate. Those three would still run circles around Jonathan, Yul, and Ozzy (except for swimming, which they're fucked with or without JP as he proved tonight). And it's not like the rest of Aitu is any stronger either, with fucking Cao Boi and Flicka being the next strongest people. Yeah, they could definitely afford to ditch JP. Tribal unity's much more important than strength, as bickering tribes 9/10 times lose no matter how strong they are (Casaya being the exception)."

James Barber: "Remember Pearl Islands, when even though Burton wasn't the strongest man on Drake, they kept losing challenges after he was voted out."

Mega64: "I'd say that's more because they finally let Morgan win a challenge and thus gather momentem and a winning spirit to start creaming Drake. Morgan was a complete shithole until Drake threw that challenge. Burton probably wouldn't have stopped Morgan after they began their streak. Plus at that point they were much more unified since Andrew finally got rid of all the people that questioned his horrible leadership.

And let's not forget tribes like Maraamu, Boran in the beginning, Sook Jai, and of course Ulong. Brawns are useless if your tribe hates each other. It's much better to get rid of someone that's harming tribal unity, like JP was, in order to keep your tribe's bond strong. Because what good is strength if you don't have the desire to use it?"

AMAI: "Oh, good points, Mega64. I think a similar sentiment was part of the motivation for Ozzy to ask Aitu tribe to throw the challenge to boot Billy. It happened early enough that they didn't have the momentum built up. He also didn't know how long the game would continue in these original tribes. Even if you are a student of the entire 12 previous seasons, one thing you know is that you cannot count on what has happened before, happening again. Look at Palau, where they kept expecting a merge, and it never came."

UrbanEnzyme: "The only people that were smart in voting off JP were Stephannie as it was either gonna be him or her, and Rebecca and Jenny, as JP has said that they were to be targeted had Stephannie not been a dumb bitch about losing. Why Cristina jumped at the chance to vote off her only ally is beyond me."

AMAI: "How was JP Cristina's ally? Just because they both came from the original Hispanic tribe doesn't mean they were true allies. They disagreed about throwing the challenge for Billy's boot. Even after learning about the extent of Billy's delusion, Cristina still didn't seem to care for JP.

I think part of the point of this season is that just because you originally came from the same ethnicity and the same original tribe, is not automatically a guarantee that you will feel you have a stronger bond than a bond you form with new people. Whether the alliances are gender based (the Raro women and men), ethnicity-based (Becky & Yul both Koreans) or shared kookiness (Flicka and Cao Boi), original tribal alliances should not be viewed as guaranteeing an ally. There is nothing that says one OUGHT to be loyal to the original tribe, when that's the only bond there is."


The season is a good one, it's just taking time to get going. Will Ethnicity have a bearing? Should it? The Ethnicity Factor may appear to have been diluted to the point of irrelevancy, but even when it's the same-old, same-old alliances and numbers, the Photochoppers and Motivational Poster posters never seem to tire of their fun. This week's set focuses on strategy.

Parvati's Strategy

by WylDawg

Ozzy's Strategy

by notremojo

AMAI: "He'll either kill himself or make it to the Final Four."


Candice's Strategy

by ShiverMeTimbers

AnomyBC: "I think she was missing the point with acting dumb there. She should have been trying to convince her tribe that she was loyal to them, not that she was a retard."


JP's Strategy

Three people took the same vidcap and made a different Motivational Poster to talk about the dearly departed JP.

by notremojo

by Mateui

by PrettyGoodYear1988

AMAI: "Speaking of bossing Brad around... this animation by Pencake is not safe for work but it might explain why Brad voted to boot JP. He just couldn't take being told CONSTANTLY what to do."



A "CAPTION THIS" GAME

One of this week's Feature Threads is CAPTION THIS: ARMPITS. tutorial posted a vidcap, and invited everyone to supply ideas for a caption to accompany it.


Here are some of the responses:

tutorial: "Sundra: 'I realized that I have BO.'"

UrbanCenter: "Sundra: 'How did my vagina get up here?'"

waddadouche: "Uh, maybe the immunity idol is over here in exile armpit, uh huh, uh huh."

Will: "Sundra: 'My favorite American Idol is Constantine. Can you tell?'"

Pink Karnation: "Smells like fish but it tastes like chicken."

Sigvold: "The Cook Islands: The Armpit of the South Pacific"

beatles20147: "Sundra: Sniffing my armpits will be worth it if I can actually get some airtime for once.'"

Think you can do better? Come over to the board and prove it. Click the title of this week's Blog to go directly to the thread.


To conclude this week's edition of Survivor Sucks The Blog, AmberKnecht has a little remedial math lesson on FRACTIONS:

First, for new-Raro men: 4/9 is less than 5/9
If you're comfortable because the four of you are "solid," perhaps you should get a tiny refresher course on this little nugget: four is not more than half of nine.

Next, for Brad: "95% of the time" is less than "always"
When you say "95% of the time, my gut is always right," I begin to worry if you're the love child of Lex and Yogi Berra. As everyone knows, 95% of the time, "always" always means "100% of the time."

And finally, for Ozzy: 9/11 is less than 1.
When you say, "Today, we caught 11 fish. I caught 9 of them. I'm happy to be the sole provider," "sole" had better be the KIND of fish you caught. Trust me; I checked this with Michael Bolton. (No one's gonna get that joke, but screw it; it makes me smile.)

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