Episode 3: Recycled Challenges & Blossoming Hate

EPISODE 3

image by notremojo

beatles20147:
"With Cecilia leaving, we've lost the first hottie of the season...so let's get ready for a Guatemala-style systematic elimination of boring babes. (I'd say that Candice is leaving but the promo leads me to believe that the new Raro goes to TC, so I guess it's Parvati.)

This was a pretty kickass ep, the season has drastically improved with each passing episode, but I get the feeling that this week was the peak, at least for a while. One challenge an episode is the best decision they've made since casting Kelly Goldsmith.

There's still something off about this season. I read a comment earlier tonight that was completely accurate; in the show's 13 seasons, this cast by far is the most aware that they're on TV. Jonathan seems like a nice guy, but come on, his confessionals are some of the most over-the-top in the show's history (frankly, Jeff Varner had the overall best confessionals ever in that they were extremely entertaining but they seemed natural).

And recycled or not, I love this challenge. It was better in Palau, where it lasted longer and winded more people (and there was some Tomination), but hey, still my all-time favorite challenge. They should have done it when they had four tribes though, that would have been even more entertaining.

Finally, I'd like to send a message to NBC: move Earl and The Office already! It's getting creamed by Survivor and Ugly Betty. Survivor and The Office are my two favorite shows ever, so it pains me every week to know that I can't watch both of them when they're on."


TRIBE SWAP

image by jppuertorico85

samsgap:
"I feel like the agenda for dividing tribes by race was purely publicity. The re-shuffle within just a few days (after only 2 TCs) speaks volumes. Social experiment...ho hum!! I know it's Survivor and we have come to expect twists, but I've also learned that most of the time the twists aren't all they appear to be, and after all, it is just a TV show!

But enough already with recruiting players, most of whom have no or very little grasp of the concept of the game.

And it's not even as if no one applies and therefore EPMB has no choice but to recruit players. You just can't tell me that of all the applicants, he could not have filled Cook Islands with 20 interesting players who WANTED to be there AND could have made for some good TV.

Instead we get to watch things like Flicka stating she just wants to hang out and make some friends. No strategy whatsoever. Not even aware enough to keep herself UTR in order to fulfill her own reasons for being there. And Ozzy, JP, et al by so BLATANTLY throwing the challenge. (I know & agree Billy HAD to GO and was potentially a huge liability.) So take him out, throw the challenge, but at least attempt to look as if you are playing for the win. A-C-T-I-N-G!! to keep yourself in the game!

And not to change the subject, but why didn't EPMB give Candice any "face-time" on Exile Island??!! Gee, ya' think she found the II with the third clue?? Oh yea, Yul has it!! Oh yea, yawn!!

The worst part is, I can't stop watching!! lol!! It is some sort of demented comedy, I mean, c'mon: Billy, JP's eyerolls, and CaoBoi and the Bad Winds. Proven material for countless and seemingly endless threads. That's my favorite part about Survivor: no matter which way the Bad Winds blow, I can always count on being amused!!!"



Speaking of amusing things...
HOW ABOUT THAT IMMUNITY CHALLENGE:

image by notremojo

Recycled Palau Challenge Depreciation
threadstarter: elinorrigby

elinorrigby: "Seriously, WTF was that bullshit??? Palau just came out on DVD, no need to show us that no woman on Cook Island comes close to being Stephenie!!! GAWD yet another reason to boycott this farce!!!!!"

Piranahahaha: "I didn't like seeing a recycled challenge, either, but you have to admit it's one of the better challenges they've come up with."

elinorrigby: "No it's stupid ... boring ass walk around in circles challenge!! Where the hell is the nasty food challenge????????"

AMAI: "LOL, Elinor. So you're just upset about which challenge they're recycling?"

Mega64: "That was a great challenge, but this iteration just sucked. It should probably not be used again. Palau's was a classic, but this cheapened the reputation of one of the few great challenges in Survivor history."

beatles20147: "Eli, it's the best challenge ever; it should be in every season! There aren't too many decent group endurance challenges and this one is perfect. It wasn't as great as Palau's since it was shorter and none of them seemed to be dead tired but still going on like in Palau but still, I was glad to see it again."

managerr: "The teams were way too lopsided strength-wise for this challenge to be interesting."

Scruffy Guy: "At least they added a TACKLE and not just a TOUCH, as it was in Palau. Still, it was boring. Doesn't look as torturous on TV as it actually is. The viewers need to see more PAIN and suffering. Just IMAGINING it doesn't do much for me."

KerryAhn: "I love this challenge. First for the cool aerial, water shots of the two teams, as mentioned last page, and secondly because I think it really is an all-around challenge, not just who's stronger.

In Palau, more than last night, there was some strategy involved. As I remember, Ian/Tom would quicken the pace through the shallow part, slow down through the deep part. Good strategy.

If I had been on the 'weak' team last night, I would have realized that there was no way to win a long, slow walk contest and I would have immediately ditched the weaklings, loaded up Yul, Ozzy, Jon and Cao Boi, and made it a sprint. Element of surprise plus a chance that weak ones on the strong team would slow down the strong ones. Play it out quick while you still have energy and hope for the best. Weak team did not play it right last night."

DogmaticAtheist: "Actually, in an interview with Cece, Yul planned exactly what you just mentioned, KerryAhn. But when the women left, the other team did the exact same thing."

Fawn Leibowitz: "You know ol' Tom was at home watching this, yelling at the TV, "I carried 80 lbs. You WEAKLINGS!"

Sunshine: "Elin, what were you doing watching the show? Thought you were boycotting."

Elinorrigby: "I am boycotting (in my own special way)!!!"



ABOUT PARVATI

image by PrettyGoodYear1988

Nuclear snake: Well first off you should be at the very least cute if you want to get anywhere flirting. She's butt-ugly. Second, she should have scoped out the tribe first. Flirting isn't a great strategy when two of the four men are gay.

NIGHTCRAWLER: I'm lovin' the sudden Parvati hatred. See? I told you!!! She's NOT cute! She's NOT seductive! She flirts like an autistic blind girl! Flicka didn't come across as too smart tonight either, but Parvati looked like a total 'tard!!

Which brings us to this week's

POINT/COUNTERPOINT featuring NIGHTCRAWLER and AMAI

NIGHTCRAWLER: "Parvati. How Do I Hate You? Let Me Count The Ways. Wow - after all the buildup for the racial division, tonight's episode seemed - well - unshocking! After a mere week …
AMAI: "Two weeks…"

NIGHTCRAWLER: "Okay, two weeks, of EXTREME RACIAL TENSION, the Probster jumbled up the segregated tribes of four into a 'melting pot' of 2 tribes. It was quite humorous to see how the cast members tried to adjust to this mixup. J.P. and Brad instantly start being gay. They're so gonna be a secret alliance! They must be confused as to what Jeff means when he says, "Alliances always screw each other over."

photochop by Phuz1

AMAI: "Maybe it means they're gonna see some action, which means we're gonna see some action. About time! EPMB is totally doing this season for Sucks."

NIGHTCRAWLER: "Then, when it's time for Flicka to choose the next member of their tribe, she calls on Sundra referring to her as 'the sista on the end.' Classy, Jess. I'm trying to cheer for you, but you're making it SO hard. Please just stop talking and move forward with seeming like you'd be fun to hang around."

AMAI: "I think Flicka would have you pleading to be allowed to hang out with Parvati more quickly than you realize. Flicka would feel manipulated if asked if she'd like ham or cheese on her sandwich."

NIGHTCRAWLER: "Possibly. We also had a chance to see CeCe reveal the insanity of Billy to Candice. I loved the look on Candice's face when she learned that Billy had been stalking her for a week. They should've inserted a little sound clip that whispered "Obsession......by Billy Garcia." Oh, and was I the only guy watching who wanted to see Candice and CeCe start making out in that scene? Ratings missed, MB."

AMAI: "Poor Candice. Didn't you see her look of sadness when Jif pointed out that Billy had been booted? I thought she did a superb job of hiding her desolation. Maybe Candice's allies voted out Cecilia to punish her for being so gleeful when she reported Billy's delusional infatuation."



NIGHTCRAWLER: "Speaking of people 'not making out,' what the hell is up with Parvati? Not only does she look like Francis the Talking Mule...but she went on and on about how she was going to resort to her excellent flirting skills in order to help her get far in the game. She proceeded to "flirt" and was then ignored by all of the guys. Yeah, great strategy, Parcheesi! Use flirting as your weapon when you're on a tribe with 2 gay guys, a pedophile and Nate, who seems to just be oblivious to everyone! 'That's a lot of meat,' she mumbled to Nate, while rubbing herself against a tree. God what I wouldn't have given for her to have tripped and fallen flat on her face, just like Jamie Lee Curtis did in True Lies when she was trying to dance seductively for Arnold. Parvati, dear, if you're going to try to get far by flirting, you might want to make certain that you CAN in fact flirt. Also, verify that you are attractive."

AMAI: "Poor Parvati. The only guys her charms MIGHT have worked on are on the other tribe. Parvati might be attractive if she'd shut her gigantic mouth. She looks like she could swallow all those guys' dicks at once. Poor Nate. He looks like his dick doesn't work. But if you want unattractive, then take a close look at Flicka's empty-headed butterface."

NIGHTCRAWLER: "Asian Jesus continues to get the positive edit tonight, and now he's pulled in his Taiwanian Mary Magdelene. Yul and Becky will go far in this game! They will make it to the Final 6, I bet!"

AMAI: "Don't get too excited, there, NC. Yul stupidly trusted Becky with the information about the HII, and she'll probably blab the info to someone and he'll be targeted, then booted."

NIGHTCRAWLER: "I'm hoping that Flicka makes it to the end...and then reveals that her recent stupidity was just a trick."

AMAI: "No way! You're a Flicka Fan? OMG! What if her stupidity is for real? You are condemning us to have to look at that face. She looks like a stack of pancakes was dropped on a busy hair salon floor. I'm trying to assimilate Flicka but she is just so very indigestible. There's no 'there' there."

NIGHTCRAWLER: "If her stupidity is real, then I'll just make more jokes about her. It appears that next week, Cao Boi impales a seagull with a spear, and then knocks its babies out of the nest. Bastard!!! One can only hope that we get to hear another one of his incoherent political speeches that no one is really ever listening to."

AMAI: "Fresh balute. Good source of protein. It's food, and if you're allowed to eat it, you eat it! And what do you mean, speeches no one listens to? Everyone listens, but then reports a different view. I think he's going to be around for awhile."

NIGHTCRAWLER: "This week's "PHANTOMS" = Cristina and Jenny. Are they even really on the show? I never see them! I never hear them! You could replace them with life-sized cardboard cutouts bearing their image, and everyone would be none-the-wiser!! WTF?! At least make SOMETHING out of your 15 minutes of fame and SPEAK!!!"

AMAI: "Jenny might be the Darrah. She's that fucking quiet. Next to no importance to the story, as in, doesn't make things happen, but does her share of work and doesn't get in the line of fire. Cristina is this year's female cop, who after braving the mean streets of South Central L.A., or wherever it is she's from, is now braving the elements and will eventually land herself a nice vacation in Costa Rica or El Salvador or some other Central American slum with high-priced resort villages where she'll try to relax with the rest of the non-jurors. Good thing she's used to dodging bullets. I wish Flicka were more of a phantom."


SPEAKING OF PHANTOMS...

image by jppuertorico85

ABOUT THE ASIANS

photochop by Pink Karnation

Wc3Fanatic: I think it's interesting to note that the Insider Clips had very useful information regarding the Candice/Becky/Yul/Jonathan alliance and how Becky has been working to save herself. I won't post in case they're regarded as spoilers, but I will say that editing, which gave Becky 0 confessionals, did her no justice, because she had some great insights on the insider.

Becky and Yul seem to be so solid.

I think Yul telling Becky about the idol right away was a good move to instill even more trust. Had Yul told her a few weeks later, or when he was booted, then she might be wary of him. However, had Becky gotten the most votes last TC, it would've been very stupid of Yul to use the Idol: he's too much of a good competitor that he can't be voted out by his tribe anyways, and he would always be targeted before Becky post-merge.

Right now, out of everyone post-merge on Aitu (because we can't tell what's going on at Raro, other than Parvati flirting), Becky has been playing game the most, followed by Jonathan, then Candice, then Yul via Becky. Great to see that they're in an alliance!


Ichiro20: "There's no doubt in my mind that the ASIANOWANGE will continue on for generations of Survivor. With the popularity of the Asian tribe (Yul, Cao Boi, and Becky are top 3 in popularity at CBS.com), I assume that if Burnett wants the show to stay free of cancellation, they will at least have half of the contestants next season Asian instead of the usual tan blonde/brunette models. The only other contestant worthy of any ownage is Alan Alda... I mean Jonathan."

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