Dancing With The Stars 4: Finale

"After 10 Weeks, we're down to 3 stars. Who will impress the judges and win your votes? LIIIIIIIIIIIVE It's Dancing… With The Stars."

I admit I'm kind of excited and hopeful that all three couples WILL pull out the stops and wow us with every routine. But blimey, Tom is going to have a heart attack if he doesn't calm down. Joey & Kym emerge first, followed by Laila & Maksim with Apolo & Julianne bringing up the rear. I'm fairly sure the producers know who has the winning totals and let's not kid ourselves that tomorrow night's last dance is going to make any difference to the scores. Tonight is the Night!

They're wearing their costumes for their first dance. Julianne's looks like something Christina Aguilera would wear for the middle portion of her act. It's a white boudoir sort of outfit, perfect for getting ready for bed. Laila is in red sparkles and Kym has on a bathing sarong.

The Judges' Round is first, and the dance appears to be a consensus of all three judges, rather than a different judge choosing for each couple like on AI. The freestyle round follows, and, ooh la la! There are no rules.

Laila & Maks lead off. During the rehearsal segment, Laila says she isn't a fan of being thrown in the air. She's a big girl who just doesn't trust her partner that much! Maks doesn't exactly seem capable of handling her. She is so much woman. At the judges' request they're to re-dance the Paso Doble. Laila reminds us they got 7s last time, so they definitely have room to improve.

She starts on the floor; he's the bullfighter above her. He walks away momentarily to remove his jacket and fling it away, revealing a red shirt the same color as her dress. The music is more bullfighteresque than I remember them choosing last time, and the crowd claps along, getting in the spirit. During the mid-portion they're meant to be dancing synchronously but in my view they aren't quite in time with each other.

AMAI: "It's better than before, but fabulous? Sadly, no."
MG: "Not as dramatic as the music would suggest."
AMAI: "I didn't like it all that much."
MG: "Just ok."
AMAI: "Yes. 'Ok' but not thrilling."
MG: "3. Laila."

Jerry Springer is in the house!

Len: "Last time we felt it lacked passion, fire & aggression. Not tonight. That was fantastic. I thought you danced beautifully. One or two leg things, tho."
Bruno as usual goes bonkers: "Dripping with emotion! Your best to date as an actress."
Carrie Ann lists all sorts of things that were better this time. "Bottom line: a big improvement."

Scores: 10, 9, 10. 29/30. Wow. Those scores were a little on the high side, I thought.

Apolo & Julianne re-dance the Rumba. They intend to go slower this time. "No chair," says Julianne. Apolo is mostly looking forward to the freestyle routine. Julianne explains she brought in a guy named Flips to teach them some break-dancing moves, which they'll incorporate into said freestyle. Flips demonstrates some of his skills and he's really good. We watch Apolo practice standing on one hand. Then they work on their rumba. Apolo complains it seems more difficult and Julianne says it's because she's teaching him more advanced moves.

They dance their rumba to Last Train To Georgia. I find that this dance is usually too stylized and boring, but Apolo & Julianne's routine works, especially with a song that helps tell the story.

MG: "WTF is she wearing?"
AMAI: "It's like a boudoir outfit, isn't it?"
MG: "Yes. Like for a Mrs. Robinson type. 2. Apolo 2. Laila. Did you like that?"
AMAI: "I quite liked it. A bit more than Laila's, anyway. 1. Apolo, 2 Laila."
MG: "Sub-par for their abilities, in my opinion."

Bruno: "American Gigolo and Baby Doll. Teasing and blending into each other's arms." That might be a 10 from him because he sounds pretty enthusiastic.
Carrie Ann wasn't overwhelmed. She takes issue with them over-performing it albeit by "just a hair." Host Tom suggests that Len will be the tie-breaker, but Len says there is no tie. Len doesn’t always get it, does he?
Len: "Not a tiebreaker. Lacked any romance."
Bruno takes issue: "They made love on the dance floor." (He moves his chair away from Len's to illustrate how much he disagrees.)
Len tries to resume his commentary but Bruno won't stop arguing. Poor Len is exasperated: "I cannot talk without Big Gob here ..." Bruno keeps yapping until finally Tom steps in and asks him to let Len speak his piece.
Len: "That was too hectic and too fast. It's supposed to be romantic."
Tom: "Well, I don't even smoke and I wanted a cigarette."

Sounds like one 10 and two 9s to me and indeed those are the scores, for a total of 28/30.

Joey & Kym reprise the Cha Cha for the judges. Joey was nervous about making it to the final 3. He says they're doing three dances but it's not until later I realize each couple performs two dances tonight and one more on Tuesday. Their rehearsal footage is mostly about how Joey is exhausted but Kym is going to push him.

The performance begins (and ends) with a 'puppet on a string' business, where Joey is the puppetmaster operating Kym, the marionette. The song is Groove is in the Heart, which is a bit surprising; I thought they would use music that referenced the puppet idea. It's definitely one of those routines you just cannot stop watching but it's hard to discern which part is cha cha.

MG: "I was enthralled by the puppet show."
AMAI: "Lol. It was cute. But it wasn't the cha cha. There were too many cute tricks. Half-way through I was wondering what happened to the cha cha."
MG: "I liked it. I agree it wasn't the cha cha, but it was cute. 1. Joey. 2. Laila/Apolo."
AMAI: "They should have saved that material for their freestyle routine."
MG: "Yes, I agree."
AMAI: "I put Apolo ahead of Joey, but both of them definitely ahead of Laila."

Carrie Ann agrees with me that it felt like a freestyle routine: "It was not quite right for a cha cha." Len complains it was "far too theatrical" and there wasn't enough content. "The more tricks you do, the further you go from the dance." Bruno: "For once I agree with them. Not enough Cha Cha. More like Cha."

The scores reflect the comments: 9, 8, 9. Total: 26/30.

There's time to fill so Samantha interviews the couples post-round 1. Everyone is ready to bring the razzle-dazzle.

Laila & Maks Feestyle. The announcer says they're doing the Paso Doble but that was the last round. Maks wears black pants and white shirt, Laila chose sparkly tassel-covered shorts and halter top. And sneakers. And gloves. Rather bizarre ensemble. It's a cute routine, but it does not set the stage on fire. At the end she rips his shirt off and even that doesn't go smoothly.

MG: "Not good enough. Too sloppy."
AMAI: "It's nice - for week 1!"
MG: "Those shoes were fucking horrendous."
AMAI: "Reminds me of Clompy's outfits. She wore them for comfort reasons I guess. Remember, Laila has bad knees."
MG: "I just didn't like that one too much."
AMAI: "Agreed. Very weak for a freestyle."
MG: "VERY."

Carrie Ann loved the moves, what she called the "Michael Jackson" but she wanted to see more sophistication and elegance. Len points out that although Maks has a fine body, he's no Arnold. "Your strength is elegance and sophistication." Bruno appreciates "a bit of striptease" but basically agrees with the other two: "Your strength is sexuality and sensuality." Laila points out that they were trying to do something different. The trouble is that the routine was an attempt to go head to head with the other two couples, instead of working with the strength that Laila already has, which the other two couples don't really have.

Anyway, the scores are 9, 8, 9, which is 26 for the round and a total of 55/60 for the evening.

Apolo & Julianne: Freesyle. He puts on a tape and whistles for her to join him. Or something. The song is Bust a Move. They're in matching outfits of white pants and black shirts. At one point the pull their headbands over their eyes and dance for a moment. Other than that moment, they have great synchronicity and execute a number of intricate gymnastic-style moves very well. It's quite an adorable routine.

MG: "That was very strong. I liked it. "
AMAI: "Me too."
MG: "1. Apolo, 3. Laila. I am predicting the future."
AMAI: "lol"

Len is excited and calls it "Everything I want to see in a freestyle." Bruno doesn't get out much if he thinks that was original but he agrees with Len that that's what a freestyle should be. Carrie Ann just calls them over for a hug. She loves this couple. The receive three 10s for a perfect 30, giving them 58/60 for the night.

For Joey & Kym's last dance, they're start out both in black. Her dress is velvet, his is a suit. But then, they rip those outfits off to reveal her silver sparkly shorts and his gold suit. The routine is bouncy and full of tricks. He jumps over her.

MG: "1. Joey. It's not even over yet."

Joey whirls Kim around and around. And around again. It's like a ballet routine. She leaps onto his shoulder and ends upside down on his arm. It's amazing!

AMAI: "That was good, wasn't it?"
MG: "Awesome. 1. Joey, 2. Apolo, 3. Laila."
AMAI: "Yes, actually. Joey & Kym were just ahead of Apolo on that routine."

Bruno: "Mr. Entertainment is back. A hit parade of dance."
Carrie Ann: "I love that you brought all you learned and incorporated it into that dance."
Len: "You flew off that stage like Harry Potter on a nimbus 2000. The secret of a lift is getting into it and out of it. Wish we had more than a 10 to give."

They also earn 30/30 for their freestyle, giving them 56/60 for their two dances.

AMAI: "I think that could be how it ends, too. Joey, Apolo, Laila."
MG: "After just now, yes, but all season it has seemed like Apolo would win, so I think he still has a shot."
AMAI: "Well… it depends on the voter demographics. I liked Apolo all season."
MG: "I think the voters prefer Apolo too."
AMAI: "I don't know if the break-dancing was enough to beat Joey's. I want Apolo to win. I'm concerned that the routines weren't enough to win."
MG: "I wouldn't worry about it, AMAI. I think Apolo has the public on his side, and Joey was incredible tonight."
AMAI: "He was."
MG: "But many people will look at the season overall."
AMAI: "I don't know how close it is, really."
MG: "I will be happy no matter who wins, actually. It's the right final 3, unlike AI."
AMAI: "True. It is the right final 3."

Tuesday Night Results

The three couples shall perform one last dance. But first there is recap, first of "last night," then of the series itself. It's fun to watch since I did not see any of the previous seasons. The loser pros dance. I've got to say I don't enjoy the pro-only dancing as much as the dancing with one pro, one celebrity. Then there's more recap, of what I don't know since I've taken sketchy notes.

Finally it's time for the last dance. As it turns out, this much vaunted last dance is really just an opportunity to showcase each couple, having left it to them to choose which of their previous dances to perform. Apolo & Julianne decide to go with a proven winner, which means another round of their magnificent Paso Doble. I love this dance so much. It starts off well: the trick with her skirt, his Russian moves on bended knees, her run and fall into splits. Some of the timing towards the end isn't quite as fabulous as last time and the worst thing is, it is over so soon. It is such a marvelous dance.

The judges are full of praise, with not a bad word to say about anything. The scores are perfect 10s and that's when I start to wonder whether, barring a really obvious faux pas, this dance is going to truly count.

Joey & Kym go with their Star Wars themed Tango. Not one of my favorites of theirs, I admit. They hope to improve on the 8s they got last time. The tango to this song seems wrong. I'm laughing at Joey trying to keep his butt in. He's so intent on what he's doing. His butt is in, it's true, but the rest of his body looks like a sack of potatoes. I'd say that wasn't a good choice, but it's not up to me. The judges go nuts with approval and the scores are once again perfect 10s across the board.

Laila and Maks discuss their dance options. She doesn't want to reprise the Samba, even though they earned perfect scores last time. They decide to improve their mambo. It's a really lovely routine without the rather awkward butterfly move that I think they used last time. Although I enjoyed their dance very much, there isn't more to say than that. They should get 10s too. After all, they never fell down! Sure enough, they receive three 10s. I actually agree with Carrie Ann, who said that the mambo is the dance that represents Laila.

With the extra 30 points apiece, the leaderboard stands at Apolo in first place with 88, Joey in second place with 86 and Laila close behind with 85.

There are still 45 minutes or so left in this finale. Man! So it's time for a segment about all the people who are supportive of and cheering for the 3 finalist celebrities. It's actually tough to pick someone to leave, since they've all got strengths & weaknesses. On the basis of performance quality over the season, Apolo and Joey should be the final 2, but I'm still stupidly hoping it will be Laila and Apolo.

And with that, it is time to eliminate the next couple. Drum rolls! Moments of silence and the lowest overall total belongs to… Laila and Maks. Oh, well.

Laila is hilarious in her parting speech. For several moments, she refuses to come down from the top of the stage to stand beside Tom and give her good-bye speech. She finally does, of course and gives the usual "I had so much fun." Laila is nothing if not forthright! "Of course," she adds."I'm pissed I didn't win." Crowd erupts in laughter. The three couples hand each other compliments, reviewing the journey through the competition. Laila concludes that both Joey & Apolo are great. "It doesn't mean anything who wins, especially because I didn't." It's actually one of the more honest elimination speeches!

After ads, there are interviews with the two finalists. Then the first four eliminated couples are introduced by name and we're told they will take it in turn to dance a small segment. Ah Paulina, it's such a shame that you didn't last longer. Samantha is also getting tired, because she introduces the rest of the losers as "the rest of the couples"!

It sure takes a lot to fill 2 hours. It's been fun to shlep down memory lane but I'm getting tired. Surely it is time to reveal the winner!

Finally. Samantha has the two final couples out on the dance floor. After 10 weeks of competition, the winner is … Apolo & Julianne!!!! YAY!!!!! I yell so loudly I startle Mr. AMAI, who throws a pistachio shell at me. Sorry, honey. I didn't want to get my hopes up. For once I didn't read spoilers. Samantha spends a minute talking to the Winners and we learn they both feel amazing. Then she spends two minutes asking questions of the Runners-up. Hmmm.

Anyway, that's it for Season 4 of this show. It was a ton of fun and I want to thank MultiGeminii for encouraging me to watch and joining me in chat each week!

Thanks for reading.

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SirLinksALot Dancing With The Stars links have more recaps and articles about Season 4 of this show.