Opening Day: Pre-Season Thoughts

Mega64: Another season, another bunch of idiots to hate." What's remarkable about this season is the diversity of this cast. I mean, 3 whole people that weren't recruited? A whopping 7 people that aren't from California? The sheer diversity of this cast blows previous seasons out of the water. But all that's OK, because OMG the races! MB finally threw away his KKK robe in order to embrace equality and world peace by making this season's gimmick race division. So we get to watch the different races compete against each other and absolutely nothing result from it since they'll merge after three episodes anyway. Of course, it's great that MB has so many minorities for once. It'd be nice if other shows, say TAR10, had a plethora of unique and different people to represent a broad spectrum of human culture. But hell, we've got Mark Burnett and his ratings-craving bullshit twists! The guy obviously knows what he's doing when it comes to twists, which is exactly why we've had such great additions as the Hidden Immunity Idol and the Outcasts. I'm hoping this season is decent like the last several, or God forbid, actually good. As long as this season makes Omarosa happy, then I'm happy."

Whatevias: Bitch, please! Whatevia Gabrizelle Santiago is here to disapprove. You wanna call this racial-stuff a "twist"? EPMB, it's DOA! First of all, the blacks ain't black! And where are the arabics or the eskimos or the aboirginals. I refuse to clap, cheer or make any other supporting movements for this season. That being said: I am so psyched! I love this idea! (Contradicting isn't it? Well, that's my complex personality...) I can't wait for the first time when one of these following things happens: 1) White declares how s/he's not a racist: but s/he want's to kick coloured's asses in a challenge. 2) Black quits/drowns/wags his/her finger. 3) Latinos try to move from one tribe to another without permission. 4) Asians feel offended, because everyone expects them to cook the rice. Ps. The human rights stuff makes me want to puke. I am as black as it can get, and I am not offended. But I ain't impressed!"

NIGHTCRAWLER: Greetings! If you're like me, you're tired of hearing about the new season of Survivor already. The "shocking" racial twist was surely set up to gain ratings and add to the normal watercooler chat...but for the love of GOD! It's on every news channel 24/7!! Is there truly nothing of more importance going on in the world right now? I mean, Cook Islands is totally stealing Steve Irwin's thunder! At any rate, after years of accusations of racism and typecasting, it looks like MB went all-out this season, and sorted out a new racially diverse cast. And by "sorted out" I mean "deliberately recruited." Sure, we now have 5 cast members from four ethnic groups - but 80% of them are from California!!! How is that diverse? I call stateism! I see no one from West Virginia represented!! Looking for black people who just sit around all day? You'll not see that on Cook Islands! Gone are the days of the lazy Gervase, the mentall challenged Clarence, the "give up" attitude of Osten, and the "..........." of Ibrehem. Instead, we now have 3 strong black sistas, and 2 bruthas. One of the sistas is an actress, and listed herself as her favorite actress. Can you say DIVA? Wow. I can't wait to see the backlash that will happen if someone from the white tribe wins. You thought the L.A. riots were bad? Wait until you see the ass-kicking that will take place in Chinatown and/or New Mexico. Thanks for the ratings stunt, MB! I hope WWIII is worth it!"

Ichiro20: "First let's get this out of the way. This season's not going to live up to the hype. You can god damn guarantee it. ... I hope Survivor can soon go back to its basics, because if this season's a flop, they're really screwed. My next bet is Celebrity Survivor. Watch out Kathy Griffin."

AmberKnecht: "So Mark Burnett and Jeff Probst had this idea. New York City government figures want it banned from TV and God knows who else is all up in arms about it. The C in MSNBC now stands for "conniptions." And that's just the way Burnett and Probst want it. Their job right now isn't to make good TV. Right now, their job is to make intriguing-SOUNDING TV, and a little controversy can go a long way in hypersensitive times. Jeff sounds so sincere when he calls this season "a new social experiment," and maybe he is. But I don't give a dang about his motives. The simple truth is, no matter how it was INTENDED, it WAS a new social experiment. Every season is.

Is the segregation-by-race thing too over the top? My first thought was yes, but then I remembered that I felt the same way about the segregation-by-sex thing and the segregation-by-sex-AND-age things from previous seasons. Then I lightened up. Let's see what happened, I thought, and since then, my anticipation has only been growing.

Right now, a few editors who know the results of that social experiment are sifting through hundreds of hours of footage, looking for the right shots to properly tell the experiment's story, and are trying to assemble those shots in such a way as to keep people watching, even if the experiment itself was a dud on arrival. They'll add music, panoramic shots of the Cook Islands, and perhaps a symbolic animal shot or two. The science is over; it's time for some art. Art with commercials, maybe, but art worth watching nevertheless. Lighten up, and enjoy it."


AMAI: "Another season, another glorious season. By episode 3 some of us will be pissed off enough to declare we're never watching again. Most of us stick with it for the whole season, because we'd rather complain than go outside. Enjoy our Blog, bitches, for there is much fun & entertainment to be had. Bookmark this site, because once you view the world of Survivor through the minds of the posters of Survivor Sucks, you'll wonder how you managed to enjoy this show without us.

Motivational image by notremojo
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